106 Money Airbrushing History See also: Kebab-Gate Toby Elliot Accidental Director Swindon Borough Council Director of 'Business Transformation', Hitesh Kumar Patel. Also See: Pajak, WiFi, Secret Report Bathgate Also see: Rikki Hunt, Perkinator, WiFi, Bawden, Michael See also: Bluhligan, Croft, Silent Majority Black Hole Budget - Awaiting further definition Blart An involuntary, nervous fart caused by an individuals fear that an illegal, immoral or unpopular act they have committed is about to be discovered or discussed. Often heard during Council meetings. See also: Bluhligan - Awaiting further definition (Also see 'Rodigarch' & 'Rodigarchy') Borough Solicitor Return To Top Of Page cHarmed - Awaiting further definition Chicken Run - Awaiting further definition Coate Croft Consultation Go F*ck Yourself See Also: Bluhligan, Insultation, Inappropriate development, Cllr Toby Elliot Return To Top Of Page Dicky Blunt Swindon slang for Rikki Hunt, often used by local Conservative politicians who are concerned that they may become the subject of legal action if they mention Hunt by name. Stop worrying, he's bankrupt remember?, have you forgotten you lent him £400,000 of our money which he never paid back? and that you lent it to him after he was already in deep doo-doo and already owed other people a lot of money.... See also: Accidental Director, F*cktard, Politard, Rikki Hunt,WiFi Distributive Leadership Blaming others when things go wrong, taking all the credit if things go right. See also: Leadership, Rod Bluh, Bluhligan F*cktard Reckless, stubborn and stupid local politician. Worse than a Politard by several orders of magnitude. Differentiating between a F*cktard and a Politard: A F*cktard is dumber than a Politard by several orders moronic magnitude. A politard will regulary attempt to do a stupid things, but can often be pursuaded against actually doing them, A f*cktard, however, is so stupid and so stubborn that they will not listen to reason and will pursue a course of action considered to be insane by most rational people. For example: A f*cktard would actually lend large amounts of public money to an 'entrepeneur' with a track record of failure and ignore a £500 credit limit suggested by an expert they had themselves commissioned to advise them on the attendent risk. A f*cktard would arrange to lend 850 times more than the suggested £500 credit limit to an entrepeneur who is already in serious financial difficulty. A f*cktard would be suprised when the money subsequently vanishes without trace or receipts and a f*cktard does continue to protest that 'The money has not been lost'. See also: Accidental Director, Borough Solicitor, Bluhligan, Politard, Rikki Hunt, Rod Bluh, WiFi Forward Swindon A black hole in the Town Centre into which public money is poured and never seen again. A rent in the fabric of space and time which sucks resources from Swindon but returns nothing useful. A survey by Forward Swindon costs taxpayers £20,000 and results in Councillors being told what they already know, but won't admit, by people who don't really matter. See also: Kebab Gate IMO See also: IMVBHO IMVBHO Is an acronym for the sentence: “In My Vile But Honest Opinion” In useage, IMVBHO is similar to other blogging acronyms such as: IMO, (In My Opinion), and IMHO, (In My Honest Opinion), but the addition of “Vile” being a satirical ‘Hat-Tip’ to a Leader of Swindon Borough Councillor who once described one of his long term & local critics as being a ‘Vile Gentleman’ after the leaders behaviour and political actions were criticised in multiple blogs, forum discussion topics and satirical videos Swindon Bloggers and political commentators often refer to themselves jokingly as being ‘vile’ when they ask perfectly reasonable questions or discuss topics which they think the Council leader would ‘disapprove’. See also: Implausible Deniability Awaiting further definition See also: F*cktard, Personal Opinion, Politard, Rod Bluh (Cllr) Inappropriate Prefix for anything a local politician falsely claims to oppose in order to get votes. 'Inappropriate' has recentlybecome a 'buzz' word and seems set to replace 'Vibrant' as the most used word in the contemporary political nomenclature of Swindon. Also known as : 'Doing an Elliott' See also: Tadpole Farm Ridgeway Farm Coate, Inappropriate Development Prefix for discussions & electoral material concerning construction or developments which a local politician falsely claims to oppose in order to get votes. Also known as : 'Doing an Elliott' See also: Tadpole Farm Ridgeway Farm, Coate, Kebab Gate Toby Elliot Insultation Occurs shortly after a vibrant and unique idea is announced by the Rodigarch or Bluhligan minion(s). Although the term 'Consultation' is used an 'Insultation' is what usually occurs - a one-way transmission of data during which Swindons resident taxpayers simultaneously have their intelligence insulted, learn that their opinions will not be required and that a stitch-up has already happened. See Also: Bluhligan, Consultation, Rodigarch, Stitch Up, Croft, Pickards Field, Coate Integrity A virtue. Rendered worthless when a subject repeatedly tells anyone in earshot that See also: Rod Bluh, WiFi, Pickards Field Italian Legs Kebab-Gate See also: Toby Elliot Airbrushing History Lamplighter Leadership Deciding upon an objective in isolation before driving the troops out in front with threats and bribes and leading from the rear. See also: Distributive Leadership, Rod Bluh, Bluhligan Leakline Monitoring Officer Moving Forward Something has stalled, is static or already moving backwards. See also: WiFi, Forward Swindon Pajak Awaiting further definition See also: Pinnochioism Personal Opinion Publicly made comments about political colleagues, opponents and outright enemies. The commentator may also attempt to deliver 'personal comments' via a third party or in print but will strenuously deny making them, or claim to have 'no recollection' of making them if they subsequently appear in the public domain. The ''Personal Opinion' is an attempt to excuse the slandering of political rivals on electors doorsteps. This defence does not work where the slander has been committed to print, thus becoming Libel. See: The Majority Of One Survives The First Test Commonly used at election time by would be political illuminati and f*cktards. See also: Implausible Deniability, Politard, F*cktard, Rod Bluh (Cllr) Pickards Field Pinnochioism See also: Pajak Plaza Town planners term describing a boring, unused and unnecessary piece of land between several other points of construction. The existence of a Plaza is usually justified, (explained away), by citing the 'need for a public realm space within which community cohesion events can be regularly held'. In practice, these means there will be one genuine community event held every five years and a French Farmers Market every other Tuesday. And a giant telly. See also: Project An individual or collaborative enterprise planned and designed to achieve an aim. See also: pRodject pRodject Originally an individual or collaborative enterprise planned and designed to achieve an aim but taken over and personally managed into failure by an arrogant, inept and vain politician, usually a f*cktard. See also: F*cktard Politard Roderick Bluh Regeneration Politard A local politician who is fairly stubborn and quite stupid but not quite as far gone as f*cktard. How do you differentiate between a Politard and a F*cktard? - A Politard is smarter than a f*cktard by several orders of magnitude. A politard will regulary consider doing stupid things, but can often be pursuaded against actually doing them, A f*cktard, however, is so stupid and so stubborn that they will not listen to reason and will pursue a course of action considered to be insane by any rational person. For example: A f*cktard would actually lend large amounts of public money to an 'entrepeneur' with a track record of failure and ignore a £500 credit limit suggested by an expert they had themselves commissioned to advise them on the attendent risk. A f*cktard would arrange to lend 850 times more than the suggested £500 credit limit to an entrepeneur who is already in serious financial difficulty. A f*cktard would be suprised when the money subsequently vanishes without trace or receipts and a f*cktard does continue to protest that 'The money has not been lost'. A politard sees the above situation happening, but pretends not to and therefore does nothing to stop it. See also: Accidental Director, Borough Solicitor, Bluhligan, F*cktard, Rikki Hunt, WiFi Regeneration Roderick Bluh See also Rodigarch, Distributive leadership Rodigarch - Also Rodigarchy: Awaiting further definition See also: Bluhligan, Croft, Insultation, Pickards Field, WiFi, SBC Swindon Borough Council Silent Majority Unknown number of imaginary people whose non-existent opinions are nevertheless known to a number of local politicians in Swindon. The following is a genuine example of a Swindon Borough councillor claiming to know the opinions of the 'Silent Majority' representation at the November 2011 Planning Committee meeting at SBC; "Can I make just 1 point, the silent majority of people in the Old Town area, in my opinion 80-90%, say we need another school. Those that know me know me know I do not walk away from what telling what I believe to be the facts, in my opinion, I will stand by this, is that the majority of Old Town Residents support the school". Councillor Michael Bawden Readers have a greater chance of bumping into God, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy than meeting members of the silent majority. See also: Croft SBC Stitch Up Sustainable Urban Extension Site is how the area of See also: Coate Croft Tadpole Farm Inappropriate Development Synergy An adjective applied to management teams when calling them competent is inappropriate. See also: Tadpole Farm An inapproriate development See also: Toby Elliot Inappropriate Inappropriate Development Toby Elliot (Borough Councillor) Visionary A local politician given to dreaming up audacious, highly speculative or impractical ideas or schemes; a dreamer, often delusional and out of touch with reality and practicality. See also: Rod Bluh, WiFi, WiFi
A 'WiFi' is a localised unit of political and monetary measurement which originates from Swindon’s now infamous failed ‘WiFi’ project which saw £400,000 of public money loaned to Digital City (UK) Ltd, a company which had been newly formed by a well known but unpopular local entrepreneur. The entrepeneurs long record of business failures, (usually at someone else’s expense), was well known and in the public record, but leading members of Swindon Borough Council saw this as being no impediment to them doing business with him, (at the taxpayers expense), didn't bother securing the loan of taxpayers money against any business assets held or acquired by Digital City (UK) Ltd and, despite commissioning a credit reference agency to check the credit worthiness of the entrepeneur and his newly formed comapnay, they chose to ignore the £500 credit limit suggested by the credit agency and subsequently authorised lending a sum 900 times greater than the suggested credit limit to Digital City (UK) Ltd. All but £50,000 of the £450,000 loan was 'drawn down' by Digital City. The Swindon WiFi project failed and the entrepreneur filed for bankruptcy in March 2011 owing Swindon taxpayers £400,000 and other creditors, including Her Majestys Revenue & Customs, more than £1,000,000. None of money has been recovered and company accounts remain late and unfiled at Companies House. A 'strike off' from the register of companies was recently prevented by a member of the public. As Swindon Borough Council did nothing to prevent the strike off from happening it is widely assumed that some Borough Councillors were hoping public interest in the lost £400,000 would vanish as quickly as the loan money had. One ‘WiFi’ therefore equals £400,000 of public money actually lost or believed to have been, or at risk of being, lost or misappropriated. The 'WiFi' measurement is sometimes used to signal that the user wishes to convey his or her belief that political incompetence and legal or moral wrongdoing are potentially present in a given situation. For example, see: The 'Accidental' Digital City Director Use of the 'WiFi' usually follows a political action or event responsible for the loss of public money and public confidence in Swindon Borough Council. More information about Swindons failed WiFi can be found in the Talkswindon Forum WiFi Enquiry section See also: |