Coffee Talk & What's On => Rm 101. Misc. Odds and Ends => Topic started by: rob-magic on July 26, 2008, 06:35:45 PM

Title: NOAH... IN THE YEAR 2008...? [How true is this.............]
Post by: rob-magic on July 26, 2008, 06:35:45 PM
NOAH... IN THE YEAR 2008...? [How true is this.............]
In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Brown's
Britain, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. "Build another
Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark
before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard
- but no Ark.

"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a
building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector. My neighbors
claim that I've violated the conservation laws by building the Ark in my
yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the
Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transport demanded a bond be posted for the
future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to
clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the
sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, the RSPCA sued me. They insisted
that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the
accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to
put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted
an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission
on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

Immigration and Naturalization are checking the legality of most of the
people who want to work.

The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, the Customs and Excise seized all my assets,
claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to
finish this Ark. "

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to
destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "This government beat me to it."