Author Topic: Crater Identification for the Visually Challenged  (Read 1603 times)

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Offline Mart

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Crater Identification for the Visually Challenged
« on: June 03, 2014, 09:57:26 PM »
I have decided not to work this week, I apologise if you use the Public Service of which I am a key component and notice a degradation in the usual excellent standards of service. I can assure you this blip is entirely due to my absence and as such is temporary.

I have noticed during my leisurely meanderings that SBC have gone a bit radical when it comes to their tactics in the war on potholes.

Hang onto your hats, sit down and maybe have a medical professional on stand by, this is a bit of a shocker.

Ready?

They are painting a yellow line around them. This is a pretty brave departure from the traditional blue marking I'm sure you'll agree. I think this could herald a vibrant new phase in pothole categorisation. It is so radical that I think a Public Announcement should have been made to ensure the Health and Safety of road users. My reasoning is thus. I am accustomed to swerving violently across the road, skewing you could say, every time I see a blue marking on the road surface, I will of course now take the same violent evasive action every time I see a yellow marking in the road. This could cause some inconvenience given the somewhat tedious and dated tradition of illustrating parking restrictions with yellow road markings. I apologise to fellow road users whose reflexes are inferior to my positively superhuman response times should you be in the vicinity when I inadvertently, and violently, avoid some double yellow lines.

I'm sure it'll sort itself out, the main thing is that we show the proper gratitude to the free thinking genius who had the nerve to take the road less travelled. Without their willingness to take a risk we'd simply be driving into those feckin great holes that pepper our roads like zits on the face of a teenager or the shrapnel pocked facades of a recently cluster bombed suburb in Damascus.

Well, since we seem to be entering an age of free thinking down SBC they could do worse than run this one up the flagpole. Potholes, don't paint them. Feckin fill them in. I recommend a substance called 'Tarmac'.

I wonder if the adoption of yellow is a nod to the World Cup being held in Brazil?


Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to. Then, on the way out, slam the door.

Offline Terry Reynolds

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Re: Crater Identification for the Visually Challenged
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2014, 10:20:02 PM »
Mart, if your absence is going to make your company work even worse, then I should be asking if my shares will also go down in value !!.
As for pot holes, if you come up here and drive around the end of wheeler ave and green road\meadowcroft, and look at the roadsides,
you'll notice that where the kerb is broken or damaged, it is surrounded by the dreaded yellow paint. I think it's saying yes we have seen the damage and will repair it soon.  Well those yellow lines were put there about a year ago, the yellow is now fading fast, I must go to the next meeting of the council, this Friday at 2.30, how do the public go at that time, and ask what use was the paint for..

take care and have you purchased the boxes yet for the end of street collection\distribution of letters . :coffee:

I would ask my ward councillor, but the election is now over..

Offline Muggins

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Re: Crater Identification for the Visually Challenged
« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2014, 06:22:26 AM »
You get BLUE paint Mart, we've never had any of that!  I too noticed yellow paint on our kerbs that have been there for ages Ko, I was hoping that one bit of it marked out the place for a new dropped kerb but I don't think I'll be that lucky.

Although we've had work done to potholes, it doesn't last long, our street is a dead end, but we still have huge potholes. 

There has been major bit of work down to the main Drive took over the last week, but they stopped last Thursday and didn't come back until Monday. It must have cost a fortune is the size and number  vehicles used was anything to go by.  The Diversion for the works took drivers into Milston Ave, which can hardly be described as a main thoroughfare, but now everyone knows the worst potholed street in Swindon. Apparently work starts on that on the 16th.

During the week it took to do the Drive buses stopped at limited stops,  so it was an even longer walk to the nearest bus stop for those who needed to use it.

Oi! Listen mush. Old eyes, remember? I’ve been around the block a few times. More than a few. They’ve knocked down the blocks I’ve been around and rebuilt them as bigger blocks. Super blocks. And I’ve been round them as well.  The Doctor (Night Terrors)

Offline Weebleman

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Re: Crater Identification for the Visually Challenged
« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2014, 08:44:29 AM »
Ah yes Mart, you obviously missed the special meeting of the SBC Innovation Committee last week which lasted all afternoon and consumed copious amounts of Rich Tea biscuits. After much debate, it was agreed that Yellow and Green was a far more pleasing colour combination than Blue and Green; and that by changing the lines to Yellow it would sub-consciously encourage the expansion of use of Green wheelie bins...... and this in turn would increase their coffers sufficiently to allow them to buy a better quality of biscuit.
Unfortunately the decision went unchallenged because the single member there present was unable to submit his written question within the 7 day deadline.


Either that or your local Councillor changed from Tory to Liberal in the recent election.

Enjoy your week away from the funny farm  :thumb:

Offline Muggins

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Re: Crater Identification for the Visually Challenged
« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2014, 09:24:28 AM »
Blimey I  must warn the community - Council Using Road Paint to Send Subliminal Messages, whatever next!

We could always confuse them by carrying a can of say blue and going over theirs. That would change the yellow to green and maybe another of red which would change blue to purple, yellow to orange and green to ?brown?.  Or just a can of black and obliterate them all. 

Or buy one can of each colour and spray our own favourite potholes and kerbs.
Oi! Listen mush. Old eyes, remember? I’ve been around the block a few times. More than a few. They’ve knocked down the blocks I’ve been around and rebuilt them as bigger blocks. Super blocks. And I’ve been round them as well.  The Doctor (Night Terrors)

Offline Weebleman

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Re: Crater Identification for the Visually Challenged
« Reply #5 on: June 04, 2014, 09:53:43 AM »
Blimey I  must warn the community - Council Using Road Paint to Send Subliminal Messages, whatever next!

Crikey Mugs, I thought you were going to introduce yet another official acronym there.

Did I mention that the responsibility for implementing the colour-change policy was to be handed over to the Crater Hazard And Visual Screening (CHAVS) sub-committee?

Pass me another chocolate Bourbon old fruit  :wink:

Offline Muggins

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Re: Crater Identification for the Visually Challenged
« Reply #6 on: June 04, 2014, 10:34:46 AM »
Would,  Council Road (subliminal) Advertising Project, do?

Sent from my Hudl HT7S3 using Tapatalk

Oi! Listen mush. Old eyes, remember? I’ve been around the block a few times. More than a few. They’ve knocked down the blocks I’ve been around and rebuilt them as bigger blocks. Super blocks. And I’ve been round them as well.  The Doctor (Night Terrors)

Offline Weebleman

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Re: Crater Identification for the Visually Challenged
« Reply #7 on: June 04, 2014, 10:40:37 AM »
 :thumb:  :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Offline Weebleman

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Re: Crater Identification for the Visually Challenged
« Reply #8 on: June 04, 2014, 10:52:26 AM »
On second thoughts, how about:

Subliminal Council, Road Advertising Project

Note the importance of the comma.




....Oh how I wish it would stop raining so that I could get out on the garden  :WTF:

Offline Mart

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Re: Crater Identification for the Visually Challenged
« Reply #9 on: June 04, 2014, 10:56:16 AM »
They do a Chocolate Bourbon Old Fruit?

After a cup of tea and a fag I think I know how to develop this exciting crater colour coding campaign.

I think each pothole should be measured, I considered depth, I considered breadth. I drank some more tea. Then it struck me. The potholes should be measured by volume. The purpose of the measurement programme would allow the categorisation of each pothole by displacement, the exercise would also allow the cataloging of each pothole for entry into a Borough wide database. I suggest each is designated by a code specifying the pothole displacement, it's 8 figure grid reference and a letter identifying it's current colour categorisation. Then members of the public, recently revered and known as 'voters', would be able to peruse the database and precisely identify the pothole they wished to discuss with the Officer.

The timeliness and accuracy of the information contained in the database would, of course, require a committee and dedicated workforce to maintain it's veracity. I think that the budget for this essential service could be obtained by diverting some of the funding currently assigned to the woefully inefficient road repair team. I think we can all agree, based on experience, that we can live without road repairs. Colour categorisation has to take priority.

I may set up a consultancy, it seems foolish to dispense such wisdom gratis.
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to. Then, on the way out, slam the door.

Offline Muggins

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Re: Crater Identification for the Visually Challenged
« Reply #10 on: June 04, 2014, 12:31:10 PM »
Mart Quote:  I think each pothole should be measured, I considered depth, I considered breadth. I drank some more tea. Then it struck me. The potholes should be measured by volume. The purpose of the measurement programme would allow the categorisation of each pothole by displacement, the exercise would also allow the cataloging of each pothole for entry into a Borough wide database. I suggest each is designated by a code specifying the pothole displacement, it's 8 figure grid reference and a letter identifying it's current colour categorisation. Then members of the public, recently revered and known as 'voters', would be able to peruse the database and precisely identify the pothole they wished to discuss with the Officer"

Nah, I think you are just saying, is it big enough to have a pee in, and if it is, how big a pee - let's not make it overly complicated.

We are currently trying to figure a way of looking at all our estate streets and assessing them in order of pothole repair priority need.   We already know they are in the top  Super Output area of potholes - but not deprived of them.

I'm warming to them, as this is the one thing we have any much and as many as everyone else. Equality at last.

If only we had the same ratio  of dropped kerbs and cycle routes. 
Oi! Listen mush. Old eyes, remember? I’ve been around the block a few times. More than a few. They’ve knocked down the blocks I’ve been around and rebuilt them as bigger blocks. Super blocks. And I’ve been round them as well.  The Doctor (Night Terrors)

Offline Spunkymonkey

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Re: Crater Identification for the Visually Challenged
« Reply #11 on: June 04, 2014, 07:18:10 PM »
After much debate, it was agreed that Yellow and Green was a far more pleasing colour combination

The subway railings in the Coate Water, Eldene, Dorcan areas used to be painted yellow and green. Not because it was a pleasing colour combination - the bridge manager at the time was a Norwich City fan.

I'd be surprised if SBC were using a different colour to mark potholes though. Colours used to be assigned to different undertakers so that they knew whose markings were whose, ie. blue for Thames Water, red for electric, orange for gas, etc.

Potholes in some streets are getting so bad that perhaps it is time to adopt the Irish system of pothole marking. Place a traffic cone in the pothole and the bit sticking out of the top gives motorists an indication of how deep they are. When the cone is no longer visible it is time to fill the hole.