Author Topic: I've Got a Baddy  (Read 2640 times)

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Offline Mart

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I've Got a Baddy
« on: November 17, 2012, 07:31:48 PM »
I straightened some kitchen cupboards. The boiler housing proving particularly unsatisfactory and getting on my bloody wick all week. It's lovely now and Mr Bubble Stick confirms it.

I trimmed a door, it shuts now. With a gentle shove of the finger.

Then I started on din-dins. Chilli, with extra chilli and garlic.

I've got one of those Japanese style knife /cleavers. I always sharpen it before I use it and it makes a gentle 'zing' when you use it. I was slicing a green pepper, julienne size, and chatting away to the moggies. They were loitering about because it was only an hour or two until their dinner time and they are eternal optimists.

Have you ever cut yourself and thought, 'That's deep, I'm not looking'? Then the blood goes 'plop'?

My left index finger is now very pointy, I've trimmed it off at about 30 degrees and included finger nail. I showed the detached part to the Guvnor who shouted at me, in a loving way. So I put it in the bin.

I then drank four beers. Then I dressed it, remembering to do that twirly twisty with the bandage.

I can cope with all of this, I is a brave ickle soldier, but I roll me own fags.

Turns out I'm the only one in the house who can roll a fag.

Ouchy, by the way.


Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to. Then, on the way out, slam the door.

Offline Tobes

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2012, 07:48:40 PM »
 :o

Usually best not to chuck amputated body parts away Mr Mart!!!
I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it - [attributed to] Voltaire... 'Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessita' - William of Occam.... 'You have a right to feel offended, but just cos you are offended doesn't mean you are right'

Offline Geoff Reid

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2012, 11:59:23 AM »

Oh my word!  ;D

Any pictures?

I ripped one of my fingers clean off at the first knuckle once - so I'm a bit squeamish about damaged hands now - almost gagged reading Marts account  :-X


Offline Mart

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2012, 12:26:12 PM »
It's not too bad, imagine half a peanut with a bit of fingernail attached. Bit like a bit of a Marathon bar manufactured in a factory with poor hygiene standards. In France probably.

What is odd is the fantastically neat 30 degree angle at the top of me finger. I shall point with added emphasis when it heals up.

Worse bit is letting the Guvnor do dinner, I'm a bit OCD in that regard so there is much hopping about in agitated manner on my part and a barely repressed urge to ding me round the noggin with a saucepan on her part. May God bless her eternal radiance.

I do sharpen a good knife though, through the tungsten thingy and bosh it up on the steel. I've got three steels, they all do different things to a knife. Worth getting if you haven't got one.

I might try a picture in a bit, probably involve faffing and Bluetooth.

I ripped one of my fingers clean off at the first knuckle once

Bet that stung.

Saw the results of a full jerrycan of petrol being heaved off the back of a Stalwart once by a chap who wasn't wearing gloves, was wearing a ring though. Had to have special gloves afterwards and wear the ring on another finger.

My dad on the other hand  (ha ha) has got three thumbs, he's never had a pair of gloves.
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to. Then, on the way out, slam the door.

Offline boothill

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2012, 01:12:16 PM »
             Paddle faster Jethro,  I can still hear banjos !
Old people believe everything...middle aged people suspect everything...young people know everything    3 2 1 back in the room !

Offline Geoff Reid

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #5 on: November 18, 2012, 03:29:15 PM »

"The East Wichel Community and Canal Spur didn't work out as well as the Council hoped...."

Paddle faster Jethro,  I can still hear banjos !



What is odd is the fantastically neat 30 degree angle at the top of me finger. I shall point with added emphasis when it heals up.

That'll come in handy when you're doing mitre joints and at least you've the option, (should the saw slip), to increase the angle of your mitre-digit to 45 degrees :)


Funnily enough, tearing a finger off hurts quite a lot less than having them re-attached.  With the benefit of hindsight, if it happened again I wouldn't have it sewn back on.


Offline I Could Do That

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2012, 05:22:23 PM »

  With the benefit of hindsight, if it happened again I wouldn't have it sewn back on.

Surely with the benefit of hindsight, you wouldn't have ripped it off  :angel:  (ouch by the way)
Proud to be gone

Offline Muggins

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2012, 05:24:41 PM »
I just knew, that the way Mart was talking in his first post, that he was suffering from a bad case of cat distraction.
Oi! Listen mush. Old eyes, remember? I’ve been around the block a few times. More than a few. They’ve knocked down the blocks I’ve been around and rebuilt them as bigger blocks. Super blocks. And I’ve been round them as well.  The Doctor (Night Terrors)

Offline Geoff Reid

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2012, 11:17:02 PM »

  With the benefit of hindsight, if it happened again I wouldn't have it sewn back on.

Surely with the benefit of hindsight, you wouldn't have ripped it off  :angel:  (ouch by the way)

I hadn't thought of that  :embarassed: :embarassed: :embarassed:

Offline Outoftowner

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #9 on: November 18, 2012, 11:37:29 PM »
It's the Japs getting their own back. Bit over fond of sharp steel for my liking. (So what will the Chinese call the vehicles from their new car factory? "Rand Lover" will not do.) I'll get my coat!
What's it all about?

Offline Alex

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #10 on: November 19, 2012, 10:40:57 AM »
My knees have gone strange  just thinking about that slice Mart.
Cats eh?
Hope it heals quickly.
Glad the other fingers are all in working order.

Offline Geoff Reid

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #11 on: November 19, 2012, 10:47:35 AM »
It's the Japs getting their own back. Bit over fond of sharp steel for my liking. (So what will the Chinese call the vehicles from their new car factory? "Rand Lover" will not do.) I'll get my coat!

My nephews wife, a lovely Japanese lady, once told Tig and I where she'd visited in Egypt..... very carefully pronouncing two of the places as 'Cai-lo' and 'Rux-or'.

I kid you not.

Offline boothill

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #12 on: November 19, 2012, 12:59:21 PM »
Premier Foods has agreed to sell its Branston range of pickles and sauces to Japanese company Mizkan for ?92.5m.

As well as the Branston products, the sale also includes the firm's factory at Bury St Edmunds in Suffolk.


gotta rove that blanston pickle and picarirri..
Old people believe everything...middle aged people suspect everything...young people know everything    3 2 1 back in the room !

Offline Mart

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #13 on: November 19, 2012, 06:51:16 PM »
I took a picture.

It fits on my phone, but it's apparently too big for this site so I can't get it on here.

How does that work then, my computer is way bigger than my phone. Got more winky lights as well.

Sorted out rolling fags though. It's all about priorities.
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to. Then, on the way out, slam the door.

Offline Geoff Reid

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #14 on: November 19, 2012, 07:48:18 PM »
I took a picture.

It fits on my phone, but it's apparently too big for this site so I can't get it on here.

email it to: leaks@talkswindon.org and It'll be sorted :)

Offline Outoftowner

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #15 on: November 19, 2012, 08:06:48 PM »
Send a photo of the pouring blood to "leaks@".......very drole!  :laugh:
What's it all about?

Offline Geoff Reid

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #16 on: November 19, 2012, 08:14:47 PM »
Send a photo of the pouring blood to "leaks@".......very drole!  :laugh:

I wondered if anyone would get it  ;D

Offline Mart

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #17 on: November 19, 2012, 08:19:46 PM »
I have been assisted by a responsible (ish) adult.



In return I have identified their new motor for them, as manufactured by Land Rover's new chums in the Orient.

I urge you to read the blurb for each car, it has a certain charm.

Better than my Mandarin though, probably.
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to. Then, on the way out, slam the door.

Offline Mart

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Re: I've Got a Baddy
« Reply #18 on: November 19, 2012, 08:21:28 PM »
Whoopsy

http://cheryinternational.com/

May find the, ahem, Tiggo, of particular interest.
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to. Then, on the way out, slam the door.