Author Topic: Christmas Recipe Corner  (Read 1560 times)

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Offline boothill

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Christmas Recipe Corner
« on: November 15, 2012, 01:47:27 PM »
Bootsy's Christmas Cake



Ingredients:

1 cup sugar
half pound butter
1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup of water
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup of roughly chopped nuts
1 75 cl bottle Brandy
2 cups of dried fruit
4 cups of self raising flour.


Method:

Sample a cup of Brandy to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the Brandy again to be sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon of sugar.
Beat again.
At this point, it is best to make sure the Brandy is still OK. Try another cup just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the fruit up off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Brandy to test for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.
Check the Brandy.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the fekin window.
Finish of the Brandy and wipe the counter with the fekin cat


Old people believe everything...middle aged people suspect everything...young people know everything    3 2 1 back in the room !

Offline Muggins

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Re: Christmas Recipe Corner
« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2012, 02:13:48 PM »
That might be a joke, but I turned over to one of those baking programmes the other day and a very smart 'womens institute' type lady, (all pearls and twin set) was making a very beautiful celebration cake. Cheating like mad she was, using packet roll out marzipan and icing, and fabric decorations, but she did bake the cake herself -  firstly she soaked all the fruit over night in brandy, the when she mixed in the dry stuff, she bound it all together with brandy, when it was cooled, she pricked it all over and poured brandy over it, then she afixed the marzipan with apricot and brandy jam and and again for putting on the icing. 

The fumes from that lot would have had me tiddly and no way could you give it to a child.  to be honest I would have been scared to put it in the oven, definitely no where near a naked flame.

I only watched it to find out how she created the wonderful golden decorations on the cake. She didn't - down the haberdashers for a half of yard of anything gold she could find. Made nice roses though, I can do them!
Oi! Listen mush. Old eyes, remember? I’ve been around the block a few times. More than a few. They’ve knocked down the blocks I’ve been around and rebuilt them as bigger blocks. Super blocks. And I’ve been round them as well.  The Doctor (Night Terrors)

Offline jayjay

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Re: Christmas Recipe Corner
« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2012, 03:23:14 PM »
I was told that the alcohol evaparated, just leaving the taste.  Well that's what I've been told and I'm sticking to it. 

Offline Muggins

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Re: Christmas Recipe Corner
« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2012, 04:23:53 PM »
That's right Jayjay, but after watching my mother with the sherry, baking cakes AND doing the Christmas puds all on her own,  I didn't really beleive it i.e. is that an old wives tale?

You all would have loved her bread pudding, they were magnificent things and the best known contraceptive at Warwick university 80 -82.   
Oi! Listen mush. Old eyes, remember? I’ve been around the block a few times. More than a few. They’ve knocked down the blocks I’ve been around and rebuilt them as bigger blocks. Super blocks. And I’ve been round them as well.  The Doctor (Night Terrors)

Offline Mart

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Re: Christmas Recipe Corner
« Reply #4 on: November 15, 2012, 05:15:22 PM »
I am making bread pudding this very evening, it's me Children in Need donation for work. Bloody good stuff.

My Christmas Cake last year drank a half bottle of brandy over a month, ought to be thinking about it now I suppose, get the sprouts on as well, make sure they are properly boiled.

I'm crap at mince pies, I can never get the tops like I want them, no finesse, Christmas pudding, might do but I do like the Tesco bog standard one if I'm honest.

Don't like sausage rolls, but can make pretty looking ones all the same, use a piping bag for the meat, you can do loads with a uniform size then.
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to. Then, on the way out, slam the door.

Offline Muggins

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Re: Christmas Recipe Corner
« Reply #5 on: November 15, 2012, 05:19:37 PM »
Saw today at Tesco's that Mr Kipling is now making mince pies with the brandy sauce included in the actual pie.  Whatever next?
Oi! Listen mush. Old eyes, remember? I’ve been around the block a few times. More than a few. They’ve knocked down the blocks I’ve been around and rebuilt them as bigger blocks. Super blocks. And I’ve been round them as well.  The Doctor (Night Terrors)

Offline Chav

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Re: Christmas Recipe Corner
« Reply #6 on: November 15, 2012, 06:28:15 PM »
That's right Jayjay, but after watching my mother with the sherry, baking cakes AND doing the Christmas puds all on her own,  I didn't really beleive it i.e. is that an old wives tale?

You all would have loved her bread pudding, they were magnificent things and the best known contraceptive at Warwick university 80 -82.

I can vouch for that  O0
And her sherry shandy was a real treat too  :angel:
"Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects." -- Lester B. Pearson.

Offline boothill

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Re: Christmas Recipe Corner
« Reply #7 on: November 15, 2012, 07:05:55 PM »
Hotel Emilio again for me....missed me warmth this last year, and hope they've got their differences sorted out by the 23rd !

You've not lived till you see their take on Christmas Puds as they suspiciously resemble some part of a camel's reproductive tackle and we won't mention the yule log for the time being. When the Legion hires several well upholstered belly dancers on Christmas Eve that's when I'll stay here for the holidays again.

Those, and a spot of fishing on New Year's Eve (Lake Nasser), should improve my temperament a tad.....happy days !

Old people believe everything...middle aged people suspect everything...young people know everything    3 2 1 back in the room !

Offline Outoftowner

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Re: Christmas Recipe Corner
« Reply #8 on: November 15, 2012, 11:00:35 PM »
Bootsie, you must be sand happy!!!
What's it all about?

Offline boothill

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Re: Christmas Recipe Corner
« Reply #9 on: November 15, 2012, 11:17:32 PM »
Bootsie, you must be sand happy!!!

Until the 4th of January at least !
Old people believe everything...middle aged people suspect everything...young people know everything    3 2 1 back in the room !

Offline Outoftowner

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Re: Christmas Recipe Corner
« Reply #10 on: November 15, 2012, 11:50:16 PM »
Nice one Bootsie!
What's it all about?