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Author Topic: Fiscal Stimulus wot SBC is already doing  (Read 130 times)

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Online Mart

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Fiscal Stimulus wot SBC is already doing
« on: October 12, 2011, 08:36:19 PM »

Damn I wish I'd written this, I've strayed near, but never had the wit to think of it.

Following David Cameron's passionate pleas at the Tory Conference, party leaders have come up with a way to instil 'can-do optimism' and 'bulldog spirit' into the British people: by re-enacting the Blitz.

In order to achieve the Government's targets on employment, urban regeneration and economic growth, plans are being drawn up which would once again see the German Luftwaffe drop bombs on London. This time, however, they'll be able to go about their business without the 'Few' getting in the way.

"What we're hoping for," said a senior civil servant, "is that the weapons are a little more accurate than their 1940's counterparts. The populace can rebuild a Blitz spirit in our newly-refurbished London Underground stations while our German neighbours efficiently raze the poorer areas to the ground. The Prime Minister mentioned that foundations are the most important part of the country's new 'house'. This way, we'll get to see them from the very beginning."

After a brief pause while those journalists who dared to request estimated casualties were ejected, the Whitehall man went on to list the scheme's advantages.

"First of all," he said, "it's difficult to riot in the streets when there aren't any. Secondly, this plan will clear the way for new housing, without touching the Green Belt, and will mark the dawn of a golden era for the building industry. Those left without homes can get jobs rebuilding them, simultaneously lowering the unemployment figures. And finally, as if the news isn't already good enough, the Luftwaffe has assured us that the contract to replace any used ordnance will go to BAE.
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As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.

Offline bobwright

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Re: Fiscal Stimulus wot SBC is already doing
« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2011, 11:37:14 PM »

A Swindon First - part of the Town Centre is already flattened.
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Offline Richard Symonds

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Re: Fiscal Stimulus wot SBC is already doing
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2011, 12:07:50 PM »

Shame Cameron couldn't organize the 'Blitz' of the Old College, but then along with everything else it is either 'Sold' or 'For Sale' and thereby he and his party have lost control of it!!  You only have to look at the disaster that is Cavandish Square to see the benefits of multiple ownership.

Maybe a scorched earth policy is the Innovative and Vibrant future for Swindon!

One final thought how many redundancies will follow a transfer of ownership of the Housing Stock to the new Housing Association?

If I were a housing officer I would not be so enthusiastic about this prospect!
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