Author Topic: They Should Have Asked My Husband !  (Read 1000 times)

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Offline Chav

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They Should Have Asked My Husband !
« on: August 05, 2010, 10:55:03 PM »
I read this earlier and it made me laugh very loudly indeed - so I thought I would share !
I am a great fan of Pam Ayres, and her humour of real life observations which she cleverly scribes into poetry.
(If you know my him-indoors, you would see the funny side too! )

Quote
THEY SHOULD HAVE ASKED MY HUSBAND
by
Pam Ayres

You know this world is complicated, imperfect and oppressed
And it's not hard to feel timid, apprehensive and depressed.
It seems that all around us tides of questions ebb and flow
And people want solutions but they don’t know where to go.

Opinions abound but who is wrong and who is right.
People need a prophet, a diffuser of the light.
Someone they can turn to as the crises rage and swirl.
Someone with the remedy, the wisdom, and the pearl.

Well . . . they should have asked my ‘usband, he’d have told’em then and there.
His thoughts on immigration, teenage mothers, Tony Blair,
The future of the monarchy, house prices in the south
The wait for hip replacements, BSE and foot and mouth.

Yes . . . they should have asked my husband he can sort out any mess
He can rejuvenate the railways he can cure the NHS
So any little niggle, anything you want to know
Just run it past my husband, wind him up and let him go.

Congestion on the motorways, free holidays for thugs
The damage to the ozone layer, refugees and drugs.
These may defeat the brain of any politician bloke
But present it to my husband and he’ll solve it at a stroke.

He’ll clarify the situation; he will make it crystal clear
You’ll feel the glazing of your eyeballs, and the bending of your ear.
Corruption at the top, he’s an authority on that
And the Mafia, Gadafia and Yasser Arafat.

Upon these areas he brings his intellect to shine
In a great compelling voice that’s twice as loud as yours or mine.
I often wonder what it must be like to be so strong,
Infallible, articulate, self-confident …… and wrong.

When it comes to tolerance – he hasn’t got a lot
Joyriders should be guillotined and muggers should be shot.
The sound of his own voice becomes like music to his ears
And he hasn’t got an inkling that he’s boring us to tears.

My friends don’t call so often, they have busy lives I know
But its not everyday you want to hear a windbag suck and blow.
Encyclopaedias, on them we never have to call
Why clutter up the bookshelf when my husband knows it all!


"Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects." -- Lester B. Pearson.

Offline Ringer

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Re: They Should Have Asked My Husband !
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2010, 09:54:00 AM »
It reminds me very much of Brissley  :2funny:
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Offline Bobby Bingo

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Re: They Should Have Asked My Husband !
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2010, 11:23:55 AM »
I read this 3 times because it so reminded me of someone that I know.
Then the penny dropped.
THAT SOMEONE WAS ME
Bobby

Offline Chav

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Re: They Should Have Asked My Husband !
« Reply #3 on: August 06, 2010, 02:01:32 PM »
here is the link on youtube
Pam Ayres - They Should Have Asked My Husband.mpg Small | Large


She is great  ;)
"Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects." -- Lester B. Pearson.

Offline Muggins

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Re: They Should Have Asked My Husband !
« Reply #4 on: August 06, 2010, 06:19:47 PM »
I've got one of them!   
Oi! Listen mush. Old eyes, remember? I’ve been around the block a few times. More than a few. They’ve knocked down the blocks I’ve been around and rebuilt them as bigger blocks. Super blocks. And I’ve been round them as well.  The Doctor (Night Terrors)